More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
Randomize
