i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
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