Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
Randomize
