I think my vagina is haunted
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
Randomize
