I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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