my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
Randomize
