Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
Randomize
