Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
Randomize
