so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
Randomize
