I am puke
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Randomize
