where am i from again
I wish life had little blips of pornography
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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