oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
Do vagina's smell?
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
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