oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
Everyone says I win the strip club
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
why is half of my head shaved?
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