So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
We have so much sex to catch up on
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Randomize
