Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize
