Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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