He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
Randomize
