Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
im six kinds of drunk right now
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
Randomize
