well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
Never underestimate the power of titties
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
