hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
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