im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Randomize
