Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Randomize
