i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
Randomize
