I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
