I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
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