i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
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