wat bout pragnant strippers??
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
These tits shall not be calmed
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
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