My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
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