I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
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