I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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