I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize
