Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
Randomize
