He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
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