Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
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