just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
Randomize
