I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
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