I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
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