So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
Randomize
