We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
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