When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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