So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
Randomize
