Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
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