I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
Randomize
