Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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