About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
