Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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