so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
