how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
Still dying that you shit outside
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Randomize
