$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
