put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
Randomize
